Your saying that this is a delicate matter sounds suspiciously as if you have not tried saying, "I love your cooking, but as I can't have sugar, I'll just try the other dishes. GENTLE READER: Does your daughter associate food with love? If so, Miss Manners would think she would be motivated to find ways to please her beloved mother by producing dishes that do not endanger her health. Or is it? How would Miss Manners handle this delicate social situation between mother and daughter? I have come to associate eating food with loving someone, and it doesn't seem enough to admire my daughter's presentation of food without also eating it. I love my daughter and admire her skills, but I can't eat sugar. She and I used to enjoy getting a group together and pretending to be food critics: We would order several dishes and desserts and critique their presentation, taste, etc. She creates desserts, as well as main dishes, that are as delicious as they are lovely. (Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, to her email, or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.) View CommentsĭEAR MISS MANNERS: My young adult daughter is wonderful in the kitchen. Better to seek her out in a friendly way and wait for a definite indication that she is offended before asking why and seeking forgiveness. Miss Manners asks because she worries that your proposed course of action might alert the neighbor to a cause for offense of which she was not previously aware. GENTLE READER: Is it not also possible that her behavior is either unintentional or motivated by something else? Should I acknowledge I hurt her feelings and apologize? Incidentally, I would have no expectation of forgiveness. I don't know for certain that she did, but it was something I would never want anyone to overhear. Then I recalled a gossipy remark about her I made to someone else that she could have overheard. I figured I offended her, I just did not know how. We weren't close friends before that, but she seemed to arbitrarily decide to avoid me.
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